Last Day of Work....Ever

The day has finally arrived.  I will be putting in for social security, cashing in my 401K, and retiring from work for good.  I feel like I have earned a lifetime of laziness after a steady six and a half years of work.  For those that don't know today is my last day at the glorious warehouse chain that is Costco.  Go in for some tp and come out with two cart loads of stuff you don't need and a $1.50 hot dog.  I was advised to take a minute and share some of my thoughts and stories of working at this global retail giant.

 

You start at either the warehouse pushing carts or in the call center talking to idiots that have nothing better to do but call and complain about the number of tissues in the tissue box was one less than the 60 count it was labeled to have (real call I took).  As I am adverse to pushing things and walking, I choose Call Center. This is a list of the "best" calls that I can remember taking from our members.

- A member called to ask me if I could send someone to her home to assist her in opening her jar of artichoke hearts.

- An elderly woman found some unopened cans to chicken in her pantry, opened them and called to see if they were still good.  The contents of the cans were black and purple and 8 years past the expiration date.  I told her to chow down.  Not really.

- A gentleman named Luke Skywalker called to renew his membership.  He either pulled one over on the staff, or legally changed his name to that.  Either way I don't it was the real Luke.  He has bigger fish to fry.  This call led me to search our database for interesting names.  I found several Star Wars themed names, Darth Vader, Han Solo and such.  There also was a Bilbo and Frodo Baggins.  People are really weird.

- One member called to explain to me that he unrolled a roll of toilet paper, and counted the squares.  He called to tell me that the counts matched up.  Good to know.

- I took a supervisor call from one upset gentleman that wanted to know what kind of bait was used to catch our seafood.  I've found that if you are confident in your made up answers, people usually take them as the truth.

- And the worst call I ever had, and it will counter my previous bullet point, was a member calling to ask questions about some of our products.  Each question was swiftly answered with a reasonable reply.  After a while she was concerned that I was just trying to get her off the phone (I was, I have stats to reach).  So, she called me on it and asked if I was just making up answers.  Once called on your bs, you have two roads to choose from.  The quick and a bit painful admitting of what you did, or you ride that lie into the ground.  In this instance I selected road #2 and I was not convincing enough to explain that everything I was telling her was indeed fact, so she asked for a supervisor.  What did I do?  Got on the phone and changed my voice pretending to be my supervisor.  Somehow a deep voiced supervisor named Mark got me off the hook, but seeing as this was my first month on the job, I was sweating bullets.  From that day on I vowed never to lie again, ever.

Post Call Center and until today, I have been working in the Purchasing department.  Its been a great 4 and a half years at this position and I have had the privilege of working with great people.  Thank you all everyone at Costco that has helped me reach this point and for all the well wishes along the way.  I will miss you all just a sliver less than my steady paycheck, and vacations, and the bonuses, and a cheap lunch.  Top 5 is not bad, right?

Special thanks to Cousin Mykel for getting me the job and Kelly and Julie for putting up with me for the past 4 years.  Let's hope the company doesn't tank in the future without me, I mean who pays to shop??

Happy last Friday of work ever, 

Scott